Just Keep Swimming

I started this blog because I wanted to be honest. I decided that whatever I write about, I'm not gonna sugar coat it and I'm not gonna lie. It might be awkward at first but I hope everyone gets used to it. I just got tired of playing politics, ya know? It never felt right.

Starting last Saturday, my friend Brianna challenged me to a competition of sorts. Actually, it came out as more of a suggestion but I turned it into a competition, as is my nature. In the next 4 weeks we're both gonna try our darnedest to work out, eat healthy and lose weight. To make it fair, we'll decide the winner by figuring that total percentage of weight lost instead of pounds. She doesn't have as much to lose as I do. How do you figure percentage you ask? You take you total starting weight(x) subtract new weight(y)to get pounds lost then divide by starting weight(x) and multiply by 100. So the equation looks like this: {(x-y)/x}*100= % Still confusing? Okay, let's say the total starting weight is 500 and after the first week you get down to 480. 500 take away 480 is 20lbs. 20lbs divided by 500 is .04, then multiply by 100 and you get 4% of the weight lost. This way, we can post our percentage lost but not our weight since we're women and we get self-conscious about that sort of thing.

I'm excited about this. I think it's gonna be awesome. So far, I've worked out everyday and I feel fabulous! I'll weigh myself on Sunday and post my percentage lost here every week. Knowing that Brianna is doing the same thing at school in Missouri is really encouraging and I think it'll better hold me accountable.

For those of you who don't work out, I strongly recommend it! In just one week I've noticed a huge change in my quality of sleep and my daily fatigue has all but vanished. I have a lot of extra energy and my body feels like it's finally being used for what it was built for. It's so hard in the beginning, trying to convince yourself that you can do this. You can fight this battle. But you can't. You can't do anything without God (Mark 10:27 : Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.") You have to let go of all the reasons why it's none of His business and just obey. Our bodies are amazing and only He knows what they're capable of because He created them (Psalm 139:13-14 : For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.) This is an incredible journey I've started on with my Lord. I have to start every workout session with prayer. I find myself talking to Him in the middle of it, during my hardest most intense moments. He makes me strong on so many levels. I'm being pushed and changed in such intensity. My body finally feels like it's being used for what it was intended for. Like I'm reaching toward a goal and God can and will use me better in this state. (1 Corinthians 9:26-27 : Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.) I don't know that whys yet but I know i must obey my Lord. Maybe I'll be an encouragement to others someday. How can I know? Only He knows.



*all the verses came from NIV

The Last Hurrah

So I have tickets to see Britney Spears in Chicago at the end of this month. Go ahead and gasp, it's okay. I'm still kind of in shock about it myself. I'm excited and yet disappointed. I'm trying to explain it to myself and to everyone who knows me. I don't even know where to start.

I love Britney. I always have. If you really know me, you already know this. I think she's cool and smart and funny and I own all of her albums and DVD s. I know, it's ridiculous, right? I shouldn't put someone in such high regard who clearly has little to no morals. It's hurts my witness. It hurts my walk with God. She's all about inappropriate subject content. She says and does things I don't agree with and would never even consider for my own life. But I still just adore her. I started praying for her years ago. Before she got divorced, before she shaved her head. I still pray for her. Everyday. I want her to make better choices so badly. I want her to come to know Christ. I want her to be happy, no, joyful.

I'm gonna go to the concert. And I'll pray for her while I'm there. But when I come home, I'll start limiting how much of her sin I absorb. I will never stop praying for her. But this is the last hurrah. I actually changed my mind about going a couple months ago. But tickets have been bought and plans have been been made. So, I'll go, enjoy the show and PRAY like crazy.

I won't be cutting back on just Britney though. I feel that God has pressed on me to purify myself. I can feel myself changing. Things I once enjoyed and looked forward to are now dark and empty to me. I like this change. I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

If We Live Like We Sing

I am feeling this urge to explore the inner workings of my heart. And not just that... but look past my own heart and into others and see the connectivity, the similarities that bind us.

I wanna see what God sees. I wanna look at a person and not see the flaws first. I wanna see the beauty and hope and the life. I wanna see how He sees. I mean, we all have flaws and we're all damaged. But He sees past that. He sees us. He really sees us. He sees past the barriers and the anger and the damage and dirt. He sees past all the the things we hate about ourselves, the things we try to hide from the people closest to us because we're so ashamed. Not only does he look past it, but He loves us. He really does. As complicated as we make our lives, it really is that simple. He loves us. More than we can ever understand.

So what do we do with that? I guess I can only speak for myself. What do I do with that? It's not an overnight change I realize. It's a moment by moment, day by day struggle inside myself to make better choices. To look at others and see what He sees. I suppose David Crowder is right, if we could live like we sing, life would very different.

And I'm trying to make you sing
From inside where you believe
Like it's something that you need
Like it means everything

And I'm trying to make you feel that
This is for real, that life is happening
That it means everything
I'm just trying to make you sing
-David Crowder Band